Louis XIV

On May 25 , 2024 Queen Elizabeth the II of England will become the longest serving European monarch ever by passing today’s  honoree King Louis the XIV of France.

XIV, the quintessetial absolute monarch, was a trendsetter. To hide his short stature and accentute his shapely calves, XIV wore  high heeled boots which became all the rage with the fashionable European males.  The popularization of the necktie is also attributed to XIV.

XIV suffered from  an anal fistula, which required surgery. The Royal Barber had never performed the surgery before, so he practiced on the peasantry, only a few died. On  November 18, 1686, in the presence of  his Mistress and most trusted advisers  XIV underwent this surgery. It was a success! So much so that many members of court also had the surgery, even some who didn’t need it. King Louis XIV: trendsetter.

Sun King!

For more information, on the Sun King Louis XIV consult your local library or watch an episode of Fox’s hit series from the mid 90’s based on his life: Life with Louie.

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White Fat Guy History 2012!

Today is April 1st, the first day of White Fat Guy History Month!  And as always we begin our celebration with an egg and onion sandwich and a discussion about St. Thomas Aquinas.  So go make an egg and onion sandwich  for yourself while I finish typing the  following story about St. Thomas Aquinas:

St. Thomas was a good friend and trusted advisor to King Louis IX of France. One day St. Tom was summoned to Paris and on the  way there a fellow traveler  said upon seeing  Paris: ” What a grand place some great man must rule it.” To which Aquinas replied ” I would rather have that manuscript by John Chrysostom I haven’t read yet.” Many contemporary philosophers agree that a good book is better than Paris, especially when it comes to smell.    Later at dinner, St. Thomas sat silently for most of the meal staring into space, then he suddenly bashes his fist on the table and says “And that settles the Manichaeans!” To clarify, The Manichaeans were a cult that Aquinas frequently debated that believed that  believed that goodness could be attained by strict discipline: avoiding evil things like  owning property, sexual desire and eating meat. To this day you may order dessert in any Parisian cafe  by shouting that phrase (citation needed.)

King Lois: "How do you know that that settles the Manichees?" Aquinas: " A little Birdy told me"

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Millard Fillmore

April 14th, 2011

Millard Fillmore!

Last Whig President, Most Successful Third Party Candidate ever.

Last week, you did a great job with early 20th century politics, now bear with me as we dive into antebellum politics, The Whigs vs. The Whigs vs. The Democrats .  The Whigs were a political party from 1832 ish til 1854 ish. Their overall platform was modernization (schools, roads, canals)  and territorial expansion  of the United States. The party was started by Henry Clay to oppose Andrew Jackson, particularly over the debate over the national bank and the party died soon after Henry Clay did in 1851.  The Whigs were always an unstable party. They prided themselves on compromise, but there were two main factions in the party those who were complete abolitionist and those who choose to look away for the sake of national unity. Millard Filmore was a member of the latter.

Millard Fillmore began his career as an anti-masonic candidate in the New York Legislature, later becoming a congressman, New York State Comptroller, Founder of the University at Buffalo ,Vice President of the United States and, with the death of Zachary Taylor, President. He was disappointed when he became President because the White House had no books it, so he started the White House library.While Filmore did not support slavery, he did not support things to end it either. While he was vp and president he was a strong supporter of the Compromise of 1850 which  admitted California as a free state but also required all citizens to assist in the capture of runaway slaves.  This compromise was felt buy many to be to much of an acquiescence to the south by many anti-slavery Whigs. Therefore at the Whig Convention for the 1852 election, his party passed him by for Winfield “Old fuss and Feathers” Scott for the nomination, because Scott was more out spoken against slavery. This did the Whig party more harm than good, as it alienated the southern Whigs and as it turned the anti-slavery northerners would not forgive the Whigs for the Compromise of 1850. The Democrats won the election, and Whig party quickly fell apart.

Fillmore ran for president again in 1856 as the candidate for the Know Nothing Party, he ran against Democrat James Buchanan and Republican John Fremont. The platform of this party, if I am may grossly over simplify, was: lets set aside our differences on slavery, can’t we all agree that there a too many Irish running around?  Filmore lost the election but was able to carry the state of Maryland and its 13 electoral votes making him the most successful 3rd party candidate in US history.

To celebrate Millard Filmore today: if your house doesn’t have a library start one. If you already have a library or cannot read well, may I suggest Mallard Fillmore

Fremont, Fillmore, and Buchanan

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Socrates?

April 13, 2011

Socrates

Philosopher, Father of Philosophy, Social Gadfly.

What makes Socrates so great? Were there not other philosophers before him? What is a philosopher? Did Socrates find truth?  If his self awareness of ignorance a particularly useful truth? Why is it when Socrates admits he is an idiot he is considered wise, but when I call him an idiot I am called a fool? Does his admission of his ignorance actually make him the wisest man? Does my admission of being unable to ice-skate make me the greatest hockey player?  If questioning things is your method wouldn’t you come up with some very pointed questions when told to drink poison ? Wouldn’t you poision someone who talked like this all the time?

I would

"Ohh good I am so very parched after pleading my case to the citizens of Athens." Grecian Facepalm

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